Today, my mind is on baseball and I have to start this one with a message to my Red Sox since they seem to be in the throes of a major slump (think I’ll call this one the ’09 decline):  Come on guys, snap out of it!  You’re better than this but with the way you’ve been playing lately, you’re going to go from #1 in the AL East to dead last!  Please, I’m begging you, don’t let it get that far!  Doesn’t matter to me if you don’t make the post-season–well, okay, that’s a lie, it does matter, but it wouldn’t be the end of the world if you don’t play past September.  I just hate to see a team with such potential implode and seriously, I really don’t want to hear another Yankee fan ask, “Who’s your daddy?”  I had more than enough of that in 2003 so get out there and win one for the Gipper sake of your fans!

Next up, David Ortiz.  He’s on the “List.”  So what?  It’s not like he’s the first baseball star to test positive for banned substances.  You noticed I didn’t say steroids?  That’s right, I truly believe his name showed up because he was taking some sort of supplement that skewed the results of that test.  Don’t knock me, if you’re a Red Sox fan, you have to believe in the sanctity of Big Papi and all the sports writers and/or Yankee fans in the world can’t shake my conviction that Ortiz was and still is clean.

A side note to Jay Mariotti on Fanhouse who’s now calling Big Papi “Ortease:” I know you think that’s cute and I can just see you rubbing your hands together and cackling like some schoolboy, but I have to tell you, that’s pretty juvenile for a professional reporter.  You’re supposed to be a sports writer but whenever I read your columns, I feel like I’m back in the classroom dealing with third-grade girls–who are the meanest of the so-called mean girls–and judging from some of the comments on your posts, I’m not the only one!  Grow up Mr. Mariotti!

Which leads me to the rest of the sports writers, why in the world are you all jumping on Ortiz?  It’s not like we’ve never seen this before.  Does the name Alex Rodriguez or Roger Clemens or, heck, even Barry Bonds, ring a bell?  Get off David’s back and do what you’re paid to do, write about the sport, not about the lives of the players.  Who cares if the players, in baseball or any other sport, takes something to make them play better.  I can’t honestly say I wouldn’t do the same if I were in their shoes, and I’d be willing to bet everything I own, including my dogs, that you would too.  In fact, if someone came up with a substance that would make you a better writer or get you more attention, I’m pretty sure you’d be all over it, banned or not.  So drop your holier than thou attitudes and write about the sport instead of doing your best to put down the players.  You want to spend your time writing articles trashing people, get a job with one of the tabloids and go after the celebrities or politicians.

And finally, to the people who comment on the sports blogs that they’ll never go to another game or watch a baseball game on television again because the players make too much money or the players are all cheats., etc, etc., etc., get over yourselves!  I’m sick of hearing it and truthfully, we won’t miss you one bit if you actually do go far, far away–although I have a feeling you won’t.  You’ll just keep spouting your opinions wherever and whenever you get the chance.

Okay, that’s it for this version of Monday Morning Mad Mutterings.  Whew!  I feel tons better!